The relationship between stimulants and anxiety

We all know that stimulants can increase anxiety, yet why do we reach for them to soothe us? 

In all likelihood, if you’re an anxious person, you have a stimulant reliance. Perhaps you have a stimulant reliance and wouldn’t identify as anxious, in which case I would say, dig a little deeper darling. 

Maybe it’s coffee, cigarettes, weed, alcohol or something else. It’s something that started out as a comfort but has ended up upsetting the nervous system even more, and it has become this unusual mix of comfort, need and avoidance for fear of what may arise if you tap in a little deeper. 

Why we like stimulants

Human’s don’t seem to reach for healthy habits automatically (why we don’t is a different post) we seem to have a preference for things that numb, dull or change our states and these usually involve some aspect of hormonal adjustment, a chemical adjustment we perhaps don’t feel is big enough, or long enough lasting, as a simple yoga flow, or breathe work. So we reach for something else, something a little more soothing (or stimulating) with the intention to stabilise, yet all too often we reach for the ‘bad guys’. Why?

The nervous system craves familiarity, even if that familiarity is chaos. So, as an example, if you grew up in a household where stress, chaos, or unpredictability were normal, your body may have adjusted to function within these heightened states. Therefore, when life is calm, it can feel unfamiliar, and even disorienting or more anxiety inducing. Without realising it, we can choose to recreate that tension by turning to stimulants, which can feel like they are providing you with some sense of comfort or grounding, by temporarily keeping your nervous system in a dysregulated ‘fight or flight’ state, which is what feels familiar to you. This is why even attempting to remove anxiety from our lives can feel destabilising, if we only approach it from a conscious cognitive or physical level. We need to drop deeper into our subconscious to reprogram the essence of the anxiety.

The role of co-regulation

So what is the answer? Aside from hypnotherapy to work on the deeper cause of your anxiety, using co-regulation instead of stimulants can be a great way to calm and realign.

Co-regulation is our nervous system’s way of syncing with those around us. As children we look to caregivers to help us feel safe, and ground us when we feel overwhelmed, or anxious. As adults, instead of another person, we often look to stimulants as an external stand-in for this emotional support.

Yet stimulants can’t provide the grounding our systems actually need. They might mimic that sense of balance briefly but they ultimately leave us feeling more out of sync, and likely more anxious. True co-regulation comes from cultivating supportive, healthy relationships that help us feel safe and connected. It’s also about building a relationship with ourselves, learning to listen to our body's needs, and establishing rituals and practices that genuinely calm our systems.

Quick wins to co-regulate? 

Have a herbal tea with a friend. Share a long cuddle with a friend or partner. Watch a funny movie and laugh together with another person. Make time to mindfully eat and share the meal with another person. Focus on your breathing, the inhale and exhale. Do an exercise class with a group of people. Take a walk (and if you can do some of it barefoot, even better).

So next time you reach for that extra cup of coffee, a cigarette, or a glass of wine, try asking yourself: What does my body really need right now? It may be rest, connection, or even just a pause to breathe deeply. And then ask What is my mind trying to distract me from? By doing this regularly and learning to identify and address these deeper needs and drivers, you can begin to transform your relationship with anxiety, stimulants and most importantly yourself and find more sustainable ways to feel grounded, balanced, and truly at ease.

Want to work with me?

Drop me an email at hello@laurenwigmore.co.uk and let’s work together to reduce your reliance on stimulants and clear your anxiety from your subconscious and nervous system.